j.ma&Drake

Drake is 6 and only has one more month as a kindergartener...

2011-04-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

Time flies, right? He's still amazing but in new ways all the time. I think we agree that it will be fun to have summertime...I've missed him a lot.

Well, he's 4 now.

2009-05-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

Can't keep up, can I? Is time going faster or that just me?

Drake is still reading and now he's giving numbers some attention. His favorite question seems to be "Are you 90 Mop?" I've been saying "No, not yet." But after he asks the question 90 times I'm feeling like I might have aged that much... From the 90 question, we go to "How many years until you are 90?" "Is that a lot?" Etc. It can take up a whole afternoon if we work the snacks in.

long hot summer is finally cooling...

2008-09-25T13:55:00.000-07:00

Drake and I have less time together, but we both have a great time when we hang out. I picked him up from his dad yesterday and we went to the library. He enjoyed picking out books about the alphabet and a couple of movies ("Big Bird Does the Alphabet" and some phonics thing he's had million times...). We read the books (all 4) before we checked them out. And, it's worth noting that he reads as much as I do when we sit with a book now. He also wanted to play computer games--he does this with Daddy, but Drake informed me that the computer is down at Daddy's so he wanted to play at the library. So he played a Reader Rabbit game until I was bored silly and then he got there, too, so we left. At 3 1/2 he is more fun than ever. He has a wicked sense of humor some times and he LOVES to dance. Last night we were at a couple of places with music playing and he twirled and kicked and went crazy (with no sense of rhythm that I could detect) until I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was completely joyous dancing, but I confess that I was laughing at him as well as with him. Man, it was funny.

Drake is READING

2008-05-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

Drake turned 3 in March...and now he's reading! Dick and Jane books! Really! I'm so impressed. He loves it. Me, too.

too busy with Drake to write!

2008-01-10T15:48:00.000-08:00

Drake is still my best little buddy. He misses his daddy and mama, but talks to them often. I don't think that's enough for him, but it's what we've got right now. He's happy, healthy and oh so smart. The alphabet is still something he obsesses over, but he knows it (upper and lower case) and he knows the sounds the letters make. He's really getting close to being ready to read. He can be restless at night (he's at my house Sunday thru Thurs afternoon) so I sleep in his room often. He'll call out "Mop?" or fling an arm or leg over to see if I'm there in the wee hours. At 2 1/2 he is still not potty trained, but he can talk about it intelligently. That's some sort of progress, right?

fun times! blue eyes

2007-06-14T16:06:00.001-07:00

fun times! blue eyes,
originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

This isn't a new photo, but I don't have one just now. Soon? Hope so.

Drake is with Nana and Mama today. I hope he stays in the silly mood he was in while he was with me. His sense of humor is really developing and he loves to see the silly stuff. We were putting his stuff in the washing machine and it included a fabric ball that soaks up water and you throw it in a water fight? Well, the ball was floating as the clothes all agitated and moved around and around and he thought that was so funny. He giggled and giggled and wanted to see it over and over. Then he'd say "Funny," and giggle some more.

elvisTWIST

2007-06-13T17:32:00.001-07:00

elvisTWIST,
originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Here is Drake's favorite cat buddy, Elvis. He and Elvis have a kind of love/hate thing going on...which is how Drake got a scratch on the face and Elvis ended up in Drake's little pool.

MOP!

2007-05-10T16:45:00.001-07:00

highchairs wear me out,
originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

This is sort of a test to see if I can actually do this again. Drake and I are spending LOTS of time together and his situation isn't any more simple or clear cut than it was. Remarkably, though, Drake is happy healthy and thriving. Yay.

Flickr

2007-05-10T16:41:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

sigh of relief

2006-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

While things aren't over in court (we go back in January), there was definitely a step in the right direction last week. S is again primary caregiver and that supervised visit craziness is a thing of the past. S has some classes to take and "services" to complete that CPS will assign, but the judge recognized that S hadn't done anything to warrant having custody taken from him. HURRAY! Drake is here more, but he still spends time at A's Mom's (Nana) house several nights a week. It's a little crazy for a kid who isn't even 2, but he's happy and healthy and I think it will continue to get better. A has some things to complete, too, and some of it is pretty heavy duty. I hope she is ready for the hard work it will take, but I didn't get that feeling. When she's in the frame of mind to be Drake's mom, she's great at it. She just can't seem to stay there very long.

the clown and the elmo

2006-11-05T00:07:00.000-08:00

the clown and the elmo
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

We did a little trick 'r treating with his dad but he wore out early and was asleep by 8 p.m. He loved the candy (note the drool) but everything else was a little confusing.

mop & drake oct'06

2006-10-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

mop & drake oct'06
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Here we are in Drake's room at my house. He calls it the clock room because there are 2 clocks in there and he is fascinated by clocks. He says the word really well, too. I'm not sure why he was looking so serious in this photo--he likes playing in that room and he also likes checking out any photos I take with him around. He can't quite make the camera let him look at different photos, but he likes to comment on the people and places he sees in the little screen on the back. Some of the comments are even in English I can understand. He talks all the time! Very cute.

All this to avoid writing of the worry I feel as we go to a court date next week to find out about custody of Drake. Neither S nor A can have unsupervised visits with him currently. I'm hoping a judge will undo the craziness of keeping him from being cared from by S. A's in no shape to be a mom and she seems aware of that. I saw her briefly yesterday. She's very thin. She avoided my eyes and wouldn't have spoken to me at all if I hadn't pointedly said hello. She was happy to see a slightly shy Drake who smiled and played with the mother he hasn't seen for a couple of weeks... She has moved in with a guy--P--and admits to her mother she's doing cocaine. I can't help wondering if she admits to that if there isn't more going on...

drake&Samlaugh

2006-09-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

drake&Samlaugh
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

My son and his son--they're really missing time together, but I hope the whole mess will be resolved before too much longer. CPS is involved because of actions taken by me when I watched A. beating up her husband...and called for help. As it's turned out, I sort of wish I hadn't, but at the time I didn't know what else to do. So now everyone falls under the scrutiny of the state of Texas...deep sigh...

cheeto face Drake

2006-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

cheeto face Drake
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

What a face, huh?We've had quite a lot
of time together lately and I'm lovin' it. Here he was snacking and watching Elmo's World. He loves Elmo!

Drake

2006-08-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

Drake
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Sweet Drake is content to hang out in the rockin' recliner.

not our best day

2006-08-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

not our best day
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

It didn't help that it was 105 degrees outside...

strollin'DRAKE

2006-08-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

strollin'DRAKE
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Drake was telling me about the big macaw he sees in the cage next to him (named Elvis). We were checking out the backroom at Roach Seed & Feed in Garland.

bill, julie, drakeRSconvention

2006-08-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

bill, julie, drakeRSconvention
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Drake's first meeting with the legendary Picasso Gaglione (ex posto facto aka Mop is in the middle) at the rubber stamp convention in Grapevine, Texas, July 2006.

mop&drakeKISS

2006-08-08T22:13:00.000-07:00

mop&drakeKISS
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Could those eyes be any bluer?

Drake plays in the water

2006-07-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

Drake plays in the water
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I blew up the wading pool while he watched Baby Einstein on TV and then went nuts with the hose while the pool filled up. (Yes, we're having a lot of dry weather, but so far no restrictions on water use.)

snoozin' in the carseat

2006-07-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

snoozin' in the carseat
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Drake travels a lot so that we can all love on him. Here he was with me on his way from his dad's in Dallas to my house in Garland. He went to sleep right away after we dropped his dad off at work. It was good he got some rest--we had lots of playing to do.

give me that camera

2006-07-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

give me that camera
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I just love this kid. Busy, busy, busy.

When I left him with his grandpa's family, he cried as I walked away. When I got in the car, I cried, too.

Drake with the library girl

2006-07-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

Drake with the library girl
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

After Drake's afternoon nap Tuesday, we went over to the library I used to work at. Man, the whole staff has changed!!! All my old friends and acquaintances have vanished. The good news: Drake didn't care a bit. He loved the puzzles, the drinking fountain, the iron girl (see photo), all the other kids --oh, yeah--and the books. We checked out an Elmo DVD and brought it home to watch. He stayed interested for a little bit... There's a storytime over there at the library tomorrow morning, but I don't think he'd sit still for it and is loud enough he might be pretty distracting. I think we might save that fun for a little later on.

SALONduFIT

2006-07-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

SALONduFIT
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

We went to our first art show together July 8. He had a great time and so did I. I couldn't let him loose check it out on his own, so tossing him up on my shoulders seemed like the best solution (I carried him till my arm was numb--he's HEAVY!). Besides the art, he enjoyed the watermelon a lot and when we went out the back door to stroll along the edge of Whiterock Lake he was in heaven. Crazy, too. He would have stepped right off the edge and into the algae-growing water if I had let him. Giggled when I stopped him...
(Photo taken by dear friend Sheila Cunningham.)

thumbsucker2

2006-07-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

thumbsucker2
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

for A.
6/30/06

Your NOSE!
Bloody, crusty, ragged
Your voice, a whisper
forced cheerful
"Was he good for you?"
It asks.
Yes yes yes
Were you good for him?
Are you?

He sees you, he smiles.
I hand you your
son, he smiles
looks at you with a
frozen smile
a furrowed brow.

He's only one.
The only one.
I mirror his expression
and rub my hand over my brow
as I return to the car.

drake giggles

2006-06-22T22:55:00.000-07:00

drake giggles 6:06
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

We had a really good time today. We were running some errands and then we hung out at my house with the dog, cats, birds...and then we met up with his Nana C. so he could spend some time in Fort Worth. I took this photo after "attacking" him with his favorite stuffed bird, a gift from Neosho in Chicago.

Drake holds the slimey dog ball--ewwwww

2006-06-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Drake holds the slimey dog ball--ewwwww
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

What is it with kids and gross stuff?

Mop & Drake in front of the Mail Art wall

2006-06-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

Mop & Drake in front of the Mail Art wall
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Just yesterday Drake and I were hanging out. He's feeling much better--the meds are finally working well (it took 3 tries to find one that didn't cause a bad reaction). He still pulls at his ears now and then, so I don't think he's all better, but getting there! A neighbor invited us over for a swim--we had a blast. Drake loves the water.

Drake & Mop

2006-06-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

Drake & Mop
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I've been feeling a little guilty about how much I dragged the little guy around when we were together Thursday, but I didn't realize he was getting sick. By the time I turned him over to Elaine and Mike for his pre-scheduled doctor's appointment he was really feeling pretty crappy. Raging infection in his left ear, infection in his right. Poor little dude.

deep sigh...

2006-05-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

Nagging at me all day yesterday was the fact that A's being a manipulative pain in the butt and not allowing me to see Drake because she and S are having big trouble...I really wanted to see the little dude, of course, and I feel anxiety about what's happening. On the other hand, I really don't want to play into A's dramas. She and S have things to work out. Drake and I are innocent victims of her bizarre idea of justice or power. Unfortunately what she wants is what counts when she decides to keep us apart. How can I be a grandma if I can't even see the kid??? Since she's so mercurial I figure that this won't last all that long, but I HATE it. Which she knows, of course. What I decide to do needs to be because I'm being me... not because I have a reaction to the stuff she's pulling. The question is, who do I want to be? No, who am I?

Am I crazy and manipulative, too? No. Am I upset? Yes. What do I do with that? I don't want to be part of any battles, arguments, skirmishes and unpleasant crap. My vision is of a bunch of people who can love a little kid enough to get along. Is that a dream? Now, it is, but it doesn't have to JUST be a dream...right?

A's killing herself with drinking and wild stuff. I feel sick sick sick about her. I love her and always will. I hate to see her self-destruct. I hate to see all the pain and wreckage she leaves in her wake as well.

mop & Drake 4/30/06

2006-05-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

mop & Drake 4/30/06
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Still at the cemetery. We're both taking some comfort from what works for us.

at the cemetery

2006-05-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

at the cemetery
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Drake and I had some good time together yesterday. I know some people might think it's inconsiderate and inappropriate to have a baby at the cemetery, but taking Drake with me to visit Jeff's grave was better for me. Jeff would have been 24 last week and his birthday prompted my visit. His gravestone is still there, the words still tug at my heart (IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER and those awful, final dates) but the place seemed empty to me, even though it was busier than it's been the last several times I've gone there. When Jeff first died, it seemed that he was there with me when I visited. Not so much now. Also, Drake is a distraction that keeps me from focusing on my sadness and getting all wrapped up in it again. I think this is a good thing. Not that I didn't feel it at all. I cried a little when I told Drake a few things about the uncle he'll never meet. He wasn't very interested in my conversation (no surprise) and very interested in the trees, flowers and birds that were everywhere. We wandered a few lovely paths by the stream (not kid friendly, so I held his hand to be sure he didn't wander over the edge of the path into the water he was so fascinated in. He DID NOT LIKE HOLDING HANDS!) I carried him a lot. The kid is HEAVY! He's also getting to be a ham when he sees the camera come out! He wants to hold the camera and he thinks it would be a good idea to put it in his mouth. Holding is ok, but I was leery of how much drool the little Kodak could take. He likes to argue. Sigh... He'll be a natural at the terrible twos.

4 generations gather

2006-04-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

4 generations gather
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Drake got to meet his great-grandpa John, so we had to get a picture. I'm holding Drake, of course, his mom took the picture. From l to r: Grandpa John, Daddy Sam, Drake, Mop, & Uncle Zac.

Drake and his favorite flash card

2006-04-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Drake and his favorite flash card
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I get to watch Drake on Thursdays now and I took this one last week when I was at his apartment. We had a blast.

Drake spends too much time in the car

2006-04-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

Drake spends too much time in the car
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

When we get time together, I often drag Drake around with me on errands. He generally likes the car or sleeps, but the last time he was not in the mood for it!

Mop and Drake

2006-03-17T01:49:00.000-08:00

Mop and Drake
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Here we are at his first birthday party...

worries

2006-03-15T11:03:00.000-08:00

My grandson's parents are each 22 years old. They're legal, but so young. I wasn't a parent until much later (29) and I still wasn't ready (though I thought I was!). These two were surprised by the pregnancy, but were madly in love, infatuated and full of hubris. They married in a unique and wonderful ceremony outside at sunset, wearing black, surrounded by family and loving friends. They wrote their own vows, which they meant at the time. Alcohol, weed and an assortment of mind altering substances flow through them, through their relationship. Without considering much about consequences, they have broken those vows willy nilly and then sworn to keep them again. Rings come off, go back on, are flung at the offending spouse, go back on...so far they are still on. Little Drake hears the yelling, crying, screaming...what is he thinking? They believe he is less than they are because he requires so much care, but he isn't. He is taking it all in and this grandma (who he named Mop) is worried. I've been able to express some concern directly and believe I have been heard, but only because I was in the middle of a wildly dramatic and painful scene--as was Drake. But that was over a week ago, so it fades and the truth of it is forgotten, altered, argued.

drake in Nov 2005

2006-03-15T10:55:00.000-08:00

drake in Nov 2005
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Is this not a precious kissable little dude?

He's turned one year old, but I'm having trouble with the photos (wait til you see). He's so grown up! He walks, he talks (only a few words), he knows how to turn lights on and off--of course he can't reach the switch, so he needs help with that part--but he KNOWS.

drake blows a raspberry

2005-10-25T00:26:00.000-07:00

drake blows a raspberry
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

j.ma & Drake hang out

2005-10-25T00:21:00.000-07:00

j.ma & Drake hang out
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

His middle name should probably be "Squirmbottom"--His uncle was Zachary J Squirmbottom at about that age.

You're taking ANOTHER picture?

2005-08-18T00:03:00.000-07:00

You're taking ANOTHER picture?
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

At 5 months, Drake is more fun than ever...he's also more work! I treasure every minute with him.

Drake shops Target with J.Ma

2005-08-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Drake shops Target with J.Ma
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

This kid is a blast. I think he was a little tired of having his picture taken...

J.Ma & Drake 5/29/05

2005-06-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

J.Ma & Drake 5/29/05
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I was having more fun than anybody there. Still digging this grandma thing.

It's Drake!

2005-05-14T22:59:00.000-07:00

0746443-R1-049-23
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

He was smiling at his J.Ma who was being really silly with noises and a little hiding behind Drake's blanket.

Drake

2005-04-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Drake
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

I love this picture of the little guy. Such a little PERSON!

Drake dropped by work with his parents...

2005-03-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

We were about to close the bookstore and I was bustling around trying to get all the last minute stuff taken care of. I looked up and there were S, A & Drake! My whole day immediately got so much better! I got to show Drake to a couple of my co-workers and do a little bit of cuddling. It was great. Nice end to a busy sale Sunday.

Drake arrives 3/11/05

2005-03-15T20:01:00.000-08:00

0628271-R1-014-5A
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Here's a picture of the first time I got to hold my grandson. You can see how thrilled we both are (??!). Well, I am...Drake's still working out what it's all about to breathe air and stuff like that.

what a kid!

2005-03-14T22:02:00.000-08:00

0628271-R1-026-11A
Originally uploaded by ex posto facto.

Here's one of the very first pictures of Drake, taken by his dad right after his birth.

My only grandbaby

2005-03-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

This little guy was born on March 11 at 3:48 a.m. Labor went on for a long time (poor A!) and we were all so happy to see Drake show up. He was alert and sociable, so tiny but so concious! I looked into his tiny face and thought "Ok, little guy. Whatever I can do or give you, you've got it." I'm in love.